Tips to look for work: adoption ruling

The demand for work is stressful, no matter the circumstances. Even if you're already working, and just look to see what else is out there, you always want to be offered the position. If you realize, halfway through an interview, he would be unhappy working for this company and do not let your dog take the job, they always want to be offered. If hours are not adequate, the obligations of degrading work, and the salary of a joke, you always want to make an offer.

Why is it so important for us to have an offer that we know he refuses?

It is important because we know that we are judged. We talked about the skills and experience and achievements of the past, but has already been described in a curriculum vitae. A face to face interview is to judge you as a person: Will you fit in? How can you express yourself? How do you see? Are you good to have around? Are you nice?

If a job offer, we feel validated and useful, that we loved. We never thought "I really did not like me, but my skills are very important." We want to be loved, we loved, and we want to be appreciated for what they are.

If no job in their absence, they take it personally: "I do not." Regardless of whether our skills are our way, our salaries in the stadium, or to apply our experience, we feel as a personal failure. The negative messages of his life, stored in our brain begin to play: "I'm not good enough. I'm worthless. People do not like. Why always a mess and I am a failure. Why can not I more like ... “

We fell we mentally listening to the tape constantly recycling? Our spirits sink, our energy evaporates, and our self-esteem plummets. This negativity and its destructive effects on our psyche can be circumscribed by three techniques:

1. The knowledge of what our conscious mind and is interrupting his speech.

2. A new approach to our mental attention to the successes and accomplishments before, regardless of size, to counter the idea that we are all along the screw-ups.

3. Rethinking our worth as a person of the specific role of employees in the total personality that we, in our intimate and social relationships in our families, our communities.

Application of work we have to judge, but we must remember that only a small inconspicuous part of what we tested. As a whole person, we are more of a worker and the employer can not judge our whole.

Virginia Bola operated a rehabilitation company for 20 years, developing innovative techniques for finding jobs for disabled workers, while serving as a respected expert in professional administrative, civil and workers compensation courts. Author of an interactive book and emotional support, Wolf at the Door: An Unemployment Survival Manual, and a monthly electronic publication, The Edge of workers who can be reached at.